Are you a cheater? It's never so cut and dry.

"Cheaters never prosper".
"Cheaters never win.  Winners never cheat."

We've been told this since we were kids. Competition is important, but what's more important is to compete honestly and fairly.  We were taught that cheating is wrong and that even if we benefit in the short term, in the long run we lose.

That's debatable.

What's more fundamental really is defining what actually constitutes cheating?  Where do we draw the line between cheating and simply being creative within the confines of the rules?

Let's take sports as an example. In most high-level competitions, athletes are not allowed to take certain substances that modify their bodies' chemistry and allow them to enhance their performance. However, athletes are allowed to do resistance training and cardiovascular exercises.  Those activities will result in changes in their bodies' chemistry, composition, strength and endurance. This will eventually enhance their performance. The latter's not considered cheating, but the mechanism is pretty similar (albeit slower).

What if an athlete drinks a couple of cups of coffee or takes a "pre-workout supplement" filled with stimulants right before starting a resistance training work out?  Their body chemistry's changed.  They're more stimulated and able to lift more weight, for more repetitions, and for a longer period of time.  Being able to work out that way will of course have the result of enhancing future performance. Is that cheating?

Let's take it a step further.  When it was finally proven that Lance Armstrong was on PEDs when he won multiple back-to-back Tour de France races, they cycling association tried to award the win to the cyclist who came in second place.  Except that guy was also on PEDs.  So they tried to give it to guy in third place, who they found was also on PEDs.  They had to go all the way down to the person in 17th place or something similar to find someone who wasn't "cheating".  But in that case, if almost everyone is on PEDs, can we still say that it's cheating if someone gets caught using prohibited substances?

Or what about in business?  Sure, there are rules and laws to prevent quid pro quo practices and ensure that no bribery or corruption happens to ensure that competition between companies are fair when interacting with clients.  But ask anyone working in a sales job about "relationship building activities".

Can you consider having a meal or even a coffee with clients a quid pro quo practice?  What about organizing and sponsoring special events for clients?  Or inviting them to your company's special private box at major sporting events and concerts? Or how about paying for a round of golf with a client? Can we honestly say that businesses aren't engaging in these activities to get something in return from their clients?  If so, is that really cheating or just improving business relationships?

It is possible to set rules to ensure that specific behaviours are discouraged and cheating is well-defined. Sure, you could work perfectly by the book all the time to ensure that you're not cheating. The problem is, when you're trying to win at such a high level, no matter what the field, your competitors are going to be operating within the gray areas between the strict application of the rules and cheating. So if you decide to stay away from that area, you're putting yourself at a disadvantage.

Failure IS an Option and Might be Your Best One (in some cases)

"Failure is not an option".

This is one of those cliché motivational quotes that you'll hear from sports, business and other fields.  I guess it's supposed to help drive people to succeed at whatever they're doing or something.  The truth is, for most of us living semi-comfortably, this adage is actually crap.

Of course, failure is an option.  It's not necessarily the one we want to pick most of the time, but it will always be one of your options. In fact, failing can be one of your best-case scenarios.

For one, the feeling that you get when you fail is terrible, especially the first time.  Learning how failure feels will make you be more prepared and work harder the next time you try, pushing you to succeed.

When stakes are relatively low, when you're trying to learn something, or when you're trying to innovate, failure is an important step. Failing gives you a chance to see what didn't work, why it didn't work and what changes are needed to make something succeed. This is a very important part of developing the white belt mentality required for continuous improvement in any field.

In a previous post, I've emphasized the importance of quitting. Another benefit of failing is that it can help you determine whether you need to readjust what you're doing or to quit altogether. Of course, this also requires an understanding of why you failed.

Yes, failing too often can be detrimental, especially when the stakes are high. However, if can react to failure the right way, you can use it to your advantage. What you don't want to do when you fail is to complain, blame others, avoid future challenges and adopt a victim, "woe is me" mentality. To benefit from failure, what you want to do when it happens is to get mad, maybe use a few expletives, then try to get better, and try harder.

Excellence Means You Can't Live a "Balanced Life"

In a previous post, I outlined the simple, 2-step formula to become good at anything:

1) Practice a lot
2) Put in a lot of conscious effort to what you're practicing

Here's a revised version of the formula, if you want to become THE BEST at anything:

1) Practice exponentially more than before
2) Practice with conscious effort and nearly singular focus

3) Be lucky

Assuming you have the luck required, you will also need to drastically increase the amount of practice you do.  Because of the increased amount of practice required, you'll have to sacrifice time for other things: social life, sleep, time with family, leisure activities, etc.  You are focused almost entirely on whatever it is you're trying to be the best at.

This is true no matter what profession or field you want to become the best at.  Whether you want to become the most renowned neurosurgeon, the funniest stand-up comedian, an Olympic gold medalist, the most successful CEO, an elite professional hockey player, the most published and cited academic, or a world-champion MMA fighter, you will have terrible "work-life balance".  You'll need to sacrifice a lot of time not only to reach the pinnacle of your field but also to stay at the elite level.

This goes beyond the level of a hobby. You can't clock out at 5pm. Having the goal of being the best at something for a certain amount of time will come at the expense of other things in your life. If the concept of "work-life balance" is important to you, you will never become part of the elite in your field.  The truth is, at one point or another, we all wanted to be excellent something.  Becoming excellent requires an unbalanced lifestyle. For most of us, living that way for a long time is unsustainable.

Become Good at Saying No

If you've ever taken an Intro to Economics class, you would have probably heard of the concept of "Opportunity Cost". Briefly, the opportunity cost of making a choice are the missed benefits of choosing one alternative over another.

Because everyone has limited time, energy and resources, that means that when you agree to do something, you will miss out on other things. By saying "Yes" to do one thing, you're indirectly saying "No" to doing other things.

This is why one of the most important (and difficult) skills everyone needs to develop is how to say "No". Whether it's a business opportunity or friends and family members asking you to do them favours, you will receive requests that will require you to give up a combination of your time, energy and resources.

When thinking about saying "Yes" to any of these requests out of guilt, an unhealthy need to please others or perhaps a miscalculation of financial gain, remember what you're potentially giving up. Just ask yourself how much whatever you're being asked to commit to is going to cost in terms of your sanity, time away from loved ones, your physical health and/or your financial well-being. Then you'll realize why "No" can be one of the most valuable words in your vocabulary.

Never be Afraid to Quit

We've all heard the adage: "Winners never quit.  Quitters never win."

Nothing could be further from the truth.

The better adage is: "You gotta know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. And know when to run."

Yes, persistence and perseverance can get you far.  You can become very successful by sticking to something for a long time while trying to improve.  It's a skill that can help you in life.

However, knowing when and how to quit something is actually equally important.  At some point, we have to recognize when we're no longer able to improve on a situation despite the amount of resources you've sunk into it.

We all need to recognize the point when, despite any additional effort, failure is inevitable. When that happens, learn from your failure, quit, then divert your remaining resources and energy on other endeavours (or a modified version of the failed one). This is how quitting will lead to future success.

Time is Money? Nope

"Time is money."  It's an old, false adage that many people in business just perpetuated.  The truth is that if you spend money, you can still make it back later on by trading your time.  When it comes to time, there's no amount of money that will allow you to get back time that you lost.  It's gone. If you're fortunate enough you'll be able to pay someone to do things you don't want so you can have more time for the things you want to do.

 

Learning how to spend our hard-earned money is incredibly important. Learning how to spend your time is even more so.  Most of us need to be smarter when choosing which activities to engage in when offered money in exchange for your time.  On the flip side, it's just as crucial to respect other peoples' time by providing them value when they've made a decision to give any amount of it to you.

White Belt Mentality

Whenever I teach a new group of white belts, the first thing I tell them is that they'll feel overwhelmed with a lot of new information coming at them.  I say that they'll make tons of mistakes and they'll probably get confused. A lot. Most importantly, I'll tell them they shouldn't worry about it.

I'll tell them that they just need to do their best to follow along, keep their eyes and ears open, and learn as much as they can every time they show up.  With constant, deliberate practice of the basics, they'll eventually make progress.

This is a mentality that we all need to have. Even when we become "experts" at any field, practicing and going back to the basics should never be "beneath you". Sometimes it's good to re-examine the basics, to try and then fail as a learning experience. Remaining humble by having a white belt mentality helps us get even better at the things that we've been doing for years and opening ourselves up to learn something new.

We Are NOT Created Equal

This is a follow up on the previous piece on how to get good at anything.

The premise of practicing with full conscious effort will definitely get you as far as you potentially can in any given field. However, there are limitations to how far each individual can get because we are not born with the same genetic potential and predispositions.

Some people have the genetic predisposition to have more fast-twitch muscle. Some are more likely to have certain types of addictions. Other individuals are more likely to get certain kinds of cancer. Some will be born with missing limbs. Some have genes that cause them to have osteoporosis and arthritis before the age of 40. Others will be predisposed to have higher muscular endurance and a higher pain threshold. Some people will be born to be potentially 7 feet tall while others won't grow taller than 4 feet.

I could quit my day job, train for 8 hours a day and try to get faster at sprinting for the next 4 years. Despite the 10,000 hours of dedicated training I will never even come close to catching a retired, "out-of-shape" Usain Bolt in a 100 meter dash. Although I might be able to outdo him in other things (here's hoping any way).

 

Bottom line: constant practice with conscious effort will make you better at any skill. However, there is an upper limit that we can get to for each field, be it sports, intellectual pursuits, martial arts, music, or entrepreneurship.

Guess what! Life isn't fair. Every individual will have certain biological advantages over other people in certain fields while having disadvantages in others. Despite what any idealist with their heart in the right place will tell you, we are not all created equal. What's important is that we give everyone the equal opportunity to find, acquire and develop the skills that best fit with their strengths.

True Body Positivity and Self-Love

The body positivity movement as we know it right now tells us that we shouldn't let society dictate how we should feel about our physical bodies.  According to this movement, we should accept all bodies, no matter the shape, size or appearance.

It's a nice thought.  There's nothing wrong with being happy with ourselves.  And yes, we shouldn't let magazines and social media determine what our bodies should look like.

HOWEVER...

The danger is that people who could be physically and mentally healthier will use this as an excuse.  It makes it easier for people who are unhealthy and obese to say that what their body looks like doesn't matter because they should be accepted while ignoring the negative effects of their bad diet and lack of exercise.

If we really were about loving our bodies, we would do our best to keep them functioning at optimal levels.  We should love our bodies so much that we want to keep our muscles relatively strong throughout our entire lives.  If we really loved our bodies we should want to be able to keep a certain level of mobility and flexibility in our joints and tendons as we get older.  Real body positivity and self-love means trying to prevent future diseases by paying attention to what we put in it.

Truly being "body-positive" and being honest about loving our bodies means that we shouldn't accept an unhealthy, physical status quo.  While our physical bodies will never be "perfect", we should be doing everything we can to keep that body as healthy as possible until we die.