Failure IS an Option and Might be Your Best One (in some cases)

"Failure is not an option".

This is one of those cliché motivational quotes that you'll hear from sports, business and other fields.  I guess it's supposed to help drive people to succeed at whatever they're doing or something.  The truth is, for most of us living semi-comfortably, this adage is actually crap.

Of course, failure is an option.  It's not necessarily the one we want to pick most of the time, but it will always be one of your options. In fact, failing can be one of your best-case scenarios.

For one, the feeling that you get when you fail is terrible, especially the first time.  Learning how failure feels will make you be more prepared and work harder the next time you try, pushing you to succeed.

When stakes are relatively low, when you're trying to learn something, or when you're trying to innovate, failure is an important step. Failing gives you a chance to see what didn't work, why it didn't work and what changes are needed to make something succeed. This is a very important part of developing the white belt mentality required for continuous improvement in any field.

In a previous post, I've emphasized the importance of quitting. Another benefit of failing is that it can help you determine whether you need to readjust what you're doing or to quit altogether. Of course, this also requires an understanding of why you failed.

Yes, failing too often can be detrimental, especially when the stakes are high. However, if can react to failure the right way, you can use it to your advantage. What you don't want to do when you fail is to complain, blame others, avoid future challenges and adopt a victim, "woe is me" mentality. To benefit from failure, what you want to do when it happens is to get mad, maybe use a few expletives, then try to get better, and try harder.

How to Stay "Motivated"

Just to be clear I'm not a fan of "motivation" to help someone stick to whatever activity it is that they want to stick to.  Motivation can be OK to get you started but not really the best at getting you going when things get difficult.  Discipline and having an overall view of why you're doing something will always be better than looking at motivational quotes and videos on social media.

That said, for those who really want to stay "motivated", I would say that the best way is to constantly look for what you're not good at and finding ways to improve it.  Set an achievable goal and work on that weakness.

Let's take martial arts as an example.  If you think that you've gotten good at punches, make a goal to make your kicks better.  From that goal you can pick an aspect of kicking that you can improve.  You can try to improve your hip mobility and leg flexibility to kick higher; or maybe try to improve the speed of your kicks; or develop the reaction time to use your kicks as intercepting counter-attacks; or make the accuracy of your kicks better.

You get the idea.  The point is, be honest with yourself and find out what your weaknesses are. Then set a goal to improve on those weaknesses by breaking them up in smaller sub-goals.  Completing those smaller tasks will help you see that you're progressing and the pursuit of those "small wins" can be very helpful in keeping someone motivated.

Your New Year's Resolutions Suck and You'll Never Keep Them

It's January 1st again. So we're going to hear our friends and loved-ones make resolutions. We're going to see the social media "motivational" posts talking about their resolutions.  We've heard it all before (or read it on our friends' social media):

This year, I resolve to:

• lose weight
• be more positive
• make 'self-care' a priority
• save more money
• make more money
• cut out 'toxic' people
• eat more healthy
• drink less alcohol
• drink more water
• exercise more
• be more fit

There's nothing wrong with setting goals.  I admire and respect people who take the steps required to better themselves and their lives. The problem with resolutions is that most are not SMART.

They're not specific and extremely vague.  Success and progress are difficult to measure because most people don't give themselves the proper steps to take to get their goals.  Most resolutions makers can be so overly enthusiastic and motivated that the goals they set for themselves aren't achievable and realistic. Even if you measure your progress, you realize that you can't reach your lofty goal and you end up getting discouraged.

Of course, most people making resolutions don't give themselves a proper time frame to achieve and succeed. Meaning that because they don't give themselves deadlines, they end up simply meandering instead of achieving what they set out to do.

Aside from the quality of the resolutions, if you really thought that whatever you're resolving to do was important, you wouldn't be waiting for an arbitrary day of the year to start doing it.  You'd be working on that goal right now.  You would have made it a priority already and adjusted your habits accordingly.  You already would have been looking for ways to stay focused and disciplined to achieve your goals. You wouldn't be relying on "motivational" pictures and videos while going on social media to tell everyone that "New year, new me" will so totally happen in 2020.