Feeling Insecure? Use the 8 Mile Method

A lot of problems, conflict, resentment and aggressive behaviour usually come from our own insecurities. We're all insecure about something because we're all flawed in one way or another as human beings.

Many of us feel afraid and insecure because we're afraid that at some point, those flaws of ours will be exposed and used against us. Some will use them to make us feel bad about ourselves. Others who are more Machiavellian will use those flaws and insecurities to manipulate us to their advantage.

So how do we avoid our insecurities getting the best of us? Use the "8 Mile" method.

In the movie 8 Mile, Eminem's character had to go through several rap battles where freestyle rappers try to get the best of their opponents by insulting them to a beat, as creatively as possible.  *Spoiler alert*:  At the end of the movie Eminem's character, at the final rap battle, decides to point out all of his own flaws in public. Basically, he dissed himself before his opponent could do it.  By doing that he took away any ammunition that his opponent could use against him.

The first step is to take an honest look at ourselves in both the literal and proverbial mirrors. That honest look will allow us to identify our flaws. This not only gives us the choice of doing something to get rid of those flaws and improve ourselves. It also allows us to accept the fact that we have said flaws and take ownership of them.

Once we accept that we have our flaws and we start owning them, (or better yet, we start working on eliminating those flaws), these insecurities will slowly start disappearing.

Excellence Means You Can't Live a "Balanced Life"

In a previous post, I outlined the simple, 2-step formula to become good at anything:

1) Practice a lot
2) Put in a lot of conscious effort to what you're practicing

Here's a revised version of the formula, if you want to become THE BEST at anything:

1) Practice exponentially more than before
2) Practice with conscious effort and nearly singular focus

3) Be lucky

Assuming you have the luck required, you will also need to drastically increase the amount of practice you do.  Because of the increased amount of practice required, you'll have to sacrifice time for other things: social life, sleep, time with family, leisure activities, etc.  You are focused almost entirely on whatever it is you're trying to be the best at.

This is true no matter what profession or field you want to become the best at.  Whether you want to become the most renowned neurosurgeon, the funniest stand-up comedian, an Olympic gold medalist, the most successful CEO, an elite professional hockey player, the most published and cited academic, or a world-champion MMA fighter, you will have terrible "work-life balance".  You'll need to sacrifice a lot of time not only to reach the pinnacle of your field but also to stay at the elite level.

This goes beyond the level of a hobby. You can't clock out at 5pm. Having the goal of being the best at something for a certain amount of time will come at the expense of other things in your life. If the concept of "work-life balance" is important to you, you will never become part of the elite in your field.  The truth is, at one point or another, we all wanted to be excellent something.  Becoming excellent requires an unbalanced lifestyle. For most of us, living that way for a long time is unsustainable.