Feeling Insecure? Use the 8 Mile Method

A lot of problems, conflict, resentment and aggressive behaviour usually come from our own insecurities. We're all insecure about something because we're all flawed in one way or another as human beings.

Many of us feel afraid and insecure because we're afraid that at some point, those flaws of ours will be exposed and used against us. Some will use them to make us feel bad about ourselves. Others who are more Machiavellian will use those flaws and insecurities to manipulate us to their advantage.

So how do we avoid our insecurities getting the best of us? Use the "8 Mile" method.

In the movie 8 Mile, Eminem's character had to go through several rap battles where freestyle rappers try to get the best of their opponents by insulting them to a beat, as creatively as possible.  *Spoiler alert*:  At the end of the movie Eminem's character, at the final rap battle, decides to point out all of his own flaws in public. Basically, he dissed himself before his opponent could do it.  By doing that he took away any ammunition that his opponent could use against him.

The first step is to take an honest look at ourselves in both the literal and proverbial mirrors. That honest look will allow us to identify our flaws. This not only gives us the choice of doing something to get rid of those flaws and improve ourselves. It also allows us to accept the fact that we have said flaws and take ownership of them.

Once we accept that we have our flaws and we start owning them, (or better yet, we start working on eliminating those flaws), these insecurities will slowly start disappearing.

Failure IS an Option and Might be Your Best One (in some cases)

"Failure is not an option".

This is one of those cliché motivational quotes that you'll hear from sports, business and other fields.  I guess it's supposed to help drive people to succeed at whatever they're doing or something.  The truth is, for most of us living semi-comfortably, this adage is actually crap.

Of course, failure is an option.  It's not necessarily the one we want to pick most of the time, but it will always be one of your options. In fact, failing can be one of your best-case scenarios.

For one, the feeling that you get when you fail is terrible, especially the first time.  Learning how failure feels will make you be more prepared and work harder the next time you try, pushing you to succeed.

When stakes are relatively low, when you're trying to learn something, or when you're trying to innovate, failure is an important step. Failing gives you a chance to see what didn't work, why it didn't work and what changes are needed to make something succeed. This is a very important part of developing the white belt mentality required for continuous improvement in any field.

In a previous post, I've emphasized the importance of quitting. Another benefit of failing is that it can help you determine whether you need to readjust what you're doing or to quit altogether. Of course, this also requires an understanding of why you failed.

Yes, failing too often can be detrimental, especially when the stakes are high. However, if can react to failure the right way, you can use it to your advantage. What you don't want to do when you fail is to complain, blame others, avoid future challenges and adopt a victim, "woe is me" mentality. To benefit from failure, what you want to do when it happens is to get mad, maybe use a few expletives, then try to get better, and try harder.