Wednesday 24 July 2019

How to Gain More Influence on Social Media Through Annoying Behaviour

We've all used social media.  The currency on all these sites are followers, clicks, views, likes, shares, retweets and number of comments.  If you have nothing of value to share on your social media, the best way to get these is by being annoying.


1) Post vague status updates (mainly on Facebook) about how you're feeling bad or sad or annoyed, etc, without explaining exactly what happened.  This is a great way to "get attention" and "concerned" comments asking if you're doing ok.  If you're a complete narcissist, it's an excellent way to fish for compliments from well-meaning people who want you to stop feeling bad about yourself.  Also, public comments showing concern will also make these well wishers look sympathetic to other people so they'll have incentive to be nice to you.

2) Write a self-righteous, virtue-signaling, social/economic/political/religious rant complaining about white people, cis-gender males, non-LGBTQ+ males, people with money, people who aren't vegan and basically people who won't respond because they're too busy running the world.  You will get social brownie points from the echo-chamber of people who think like you. The more sweepingly general and having the least amount of nuance in your post, the more angry reactions you'll get.  If you're doing this on Facebook, the algorithm will ultimately move your post to the top of the news feed because it's keeping eyeballs on the site / application. Bonus points if you can somehow claim to be a victim of whatever group of people you're railing against.

3) Repeat point 2 on Twitter.  Because of the character limit on Twitter, you can write your angry rant as multiple posts, numbering them.

4) The off-shoot of points 2 and 3 would be to write the virtue-signaling, self-righteous post against the people on the opposite end of the political spectrum.  You'll get just as much of a response from the other side.  You'll even get strong reactions from people who disagree with you.  Again, the social media platforms' algorithms will identify the post as being engaging and will therefore give it more views. If you go this route though, you have to be careful because the rant can end up being borderline racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/xenophobic.  The platforms might flag you for "violating their terms of service". Of course, if that happens, you can use that to further strengthen your following by playing victim.  You can easily say that you're being censored and your right to freedom of speech is being violated.

5) "Humble-bragging".  In case you didn't know what that is, it's a bragging post about an being in a great event or being in a pic with someone famous disguised as being "blessed" or "grateful" or of course, "humbling".  A great example is a someone going to a TED talk, taking a selfie with one of the famous speakers and then posting it with a vapid quote talking about how lucky they are to be there.  We get it: you were able to gain access to an exclusive event and rubbed shoulders with some very influential people. You don't want to seem like you're showing off on your LinkedIn profile, so you write it with very obviously fake humility.

6) Be "on vacation" all year round. Whenever someone goes on vacation, they normally take their vacation pics and either post them all at once when they get back or they post everything on the day that they take the pics.  Instead of doing that, I suggest banking your best vacation photos and then post a different one or two daily on Instagram and Facebook.  Not only does this make you look like a well-traveled individual, it's also very attractive to people who are stuck in depressing office jobs, or who have to take long commutes on public transportation. This is especially true during the winter.  Great travel pics will get a bunch of likes especially if you start adding semi-motivational, humble-bragging quotes and hashtags.  Bonus points if you're a relatively attractive woman who can pose in a bikini on a sunny, white sand beach.

These are just a couple of tips that you can use if you're trying to build a social media following.  Get a critical mass of likes and followers and you can finally monetize your social media accounts by selling fit teas and supplements.

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